Should My Aspiring Content Creator Pal Cease Using Me for Content?

The Prosecution: Beth

At times she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She creates vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or be captured while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend helping her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with another. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Defence: Marielle

I hope Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and connect with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I admire people on social platforms who pull off that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: noticing the details, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the content we create together can get us: an opening. I know not all people likes being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private videographer, but friends support one another in small ways. I thought filming a clip now and then would be fun for her. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never intentionally embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I value our friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about power, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. Given the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She needs to honor her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she needs to listen to what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the priority in your relationship. Foster some authentic experiences, where genuine feelings are preserved, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to what’s reasonable. The solution lies not in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?